Things I Learned in 2023

1. A guy named Jake will offer you coconuts at the beach
2. There is one man out there still saying “do it for the Vine”
3. Fridges should be between 30 to 40 degrees and freezers should be between 0 and -10 degrees
4. You can find universal truths in the specificity of your experience
5. The county fair is the spawn of Western decadence
6. Your best friend’s dad will do a silly little dance at the Taylor Swift concert
7. Eating too many brown butter cookies will make me puke
8. Go to the Philippines with your own itinerary
9. Dramatic family trips make excellent fodder for poetry
10. Don’t rush. Measure twice. Cut once
11. I don’t have the core strength to get myself out of a river
12. You can meet readers, publicists, finalists, and Kayteighs out in the wild
13. You don’t have to hold everyone’s box
14. Always stop by the neighborhood yard sale
15. Summer bucket lists work
16. There are seven types of sea turtles and five live in Florida
17. Don’t get messy at the work function
18. If you do get messy at the work function, thank your friends for taking care of your ass
19. You can bump into a high school classmate at a conference — of all places
20. Just go to the damn ice cream parlor
21. Audio books are great companions for long drives
22. I don’t care about being right, but I don’t like being wrong
23. Jury duty is actually pretty fun and fascinating
24. Paddington is from the deepest darkest Peru
25. Wear ear plugs at the hardcore punk concert
26. I like moshing. TeeHee
27. Don’t take a shot every time they say the "N" word in BlackKlansman
28. You are responsible for your own algorithm
29. It’s Alison ROH-mahn. Not Alison roh-MAHN.
30. I have very narrow ear canals
31. There’s creativity in constraint
32. All the men in Sex and the City objectively suck (except for Steve)
33. But I actually came out being team Big? 
34. I'm a Miranda sun with a Carrie rising
35. When in doubt, just ask the stoners on the street for a lighter 
36. There are many Alyssa’s in Miami and they all like writing poetry
37. Poetry is catharthic
38. You've really lived in Miami long enough to be added to an assortment of random WhatsApp groups
39. Chace is the bestest boy
40. Just be the boy from Up
41. Safety pins are the carabiner’s of the sewing world
42. Don’t eat where you shit
43. You can’t change your flight on the same day if it’s Allegiant
44. Cheerwine is just Dr. Pepper
45. Be careful where you put your Ice
46. Your dad will break into your apartment just to prove a point
47. Wordle group chats bring people together.
48. Red Bull originated from Salzburg
49. Prague bars > American bars
50. Size of Prague bars < American bars
51. I’m a chicken when it comes to dating
52. Just block them
53. Traveling with parents is like traveling with children who have authority
54. Polish thrift store owners in Vienna will leave you in charge while they get you coffee
55. Czech skate board workers will gift you with artwork just to demand money for it later
56. Your 44-year-old uncle's dating advice, while shrewd, may be effective in some ways
57. Trust can dissipate in mere seconds
58. You can’t make space for everyone
59. You can be an open book, but only for the people who earn it
60. Punishing myself doesn’t serve me
61. Having self esteem means being honest with yourself
62. Life is so incredibly fragile
63. In discomfort, there is growth

Despite the valiant efforts of media publications (see The Cut or the Atlantic's Instagram account), nothing truly prepares you for the politics of being a person. How do I navigate polarizing opinions with coworkers? What is the proper code of conduct for seeing an ex at a wedding? What kind of relationship should I have with my parents as an adult? How coy or forward must you be on Bumble? How much of myself do I give away in the name of earnestness? And at what point should I be worried that I've spent too much time alone — and often sought it out?

All of us, at some point, must deploy different aspects of ourselves to meet the circumstance. And this year, I've definitely had my work cut out for me. I'm grateful for all the moments of discomfort and hand-wringing  that I've had to deal with this year. New relationships and experiences have germinated the beginnings of, what I hope, will become a new evolution of myself — one where I have a deeper, if not clearer, understanding of how to navigate my world as it stands.

It's funny to see how these annual lists have evolved over the years. I've been making them since 2016. Seven years later, and the low self esteem, general anxiety and ennui of my early twenties has lessened greatly. Death feels imminent, now more than ever. I am equally and simultaneously self-assured but unmoored. I feel a bit stagnant but I've been physically itinerant. In the way that a fever is not an illness but a symptom, I'm sure a lot of these feelings are indicators that I'm developing a life that is whole. 

So, I bid adieu to 2023, not with resignation as I did the year prior, but with much gratitude in my heart that I have and will continue to stumble and get back up.