ALYSSA RAMOS
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Things I Learned in 2023

12/13/2023

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  1. A guy named Jake will offer you coconuts at the beach
  2. There is one man out there still saying “do it for the Vine”
  3. Fridges should be between 30 to 40 degrees and freezers should be between 0 and -10 degrees
  4. You can find universal truths in the specificity of your experience
  5. The county fair is the spawn of Western decadence
  6. Your best friend’s dad will do a silly little dance at the Taylor Swift concert
  7. Eating too many brown butter cookies will make me puke
  8. Go to the Philippines with your own itinerary
  9. Dramatic family trips make excellent fodder for poetry
  10. Don’t rush. Measure twice. Cut once
  11. I don’t have the core strength to get myself out of a river
  12. You can meet readers, publicists, finalists, and Kayteighs out in the wild
  13. You don’t have to hold everyone’s box
  14. Always stop by the neighborhood yard sale
  15. Summer bucket lists work
  16. There are seven types of sea turtles and five live in Florida
  17. Don’t get messy at the work function
  18. If you do get messy at the work function, thank your friends for taking care of your ass
  19. You can bump into a high school classmate at a conference — of all places
  20. Just go to the damn ice cream parlor
  21. Audio books are great companions for long drives
  22. I don’t care about being right, but I don’t like being wrong
  23. Jury duty is actually pretty fun and fascinating
  24. Paddington is from the deepest darkest Peru
  25. Wear ear plugs at the hardcore punk concert
  26. I like moshing. TeeHee
  27. Don’t take a shot every time they say the "N" word in BlackKlansman
  28. You are responsible for your own algorithm
  29. It’s Alison ROH-mahn. Not Alison roh-MAHN.
  30. I have very narrow ear canals
  31. There’s creativity in constraint
  32. All the men in Sex and the City objectively suck (except for Steve)
  33. But I actually came out being team Big? 
  34. I'm a Miranda sun with a Carrie rising
  35. When in doubt, just ask the stoners on the street for a lighter 
  36. There are many Alyssa’s in Miami and they all like writing poetry
  37. Poetry is catharthic
  38. You've really lived in Miami long enough to be added to an assortment of random WhatsApp groups
  39. Chace is the bestest boy
  40. Just be the boy from Up
  41. Safety pins are the carabiner’s of the sewing world
  42. Don’t eat where you shit
  43. You can’t change your flight on the same day if it’s Allegiant
  44. Cheerwine is just Dr. Pepper
  45. Be careful where you put your Ice
  46. Your dad will break into your apartment just to prove a point
  47. Wordle group chats bring people together.
  48. Red Bull originated from Salzburg
  49. Prague bars > American bars
  50. Size of Prague bars < American bars
  51. I’m a chicken when it comes to dating
  52. Just block them
  53. Traveling with parents is like traveling with children who have authority
  54. Polish thrift store owners in Vienna will leave you in charge while they get you coffee
  55. Czech skate board workers will gift you with artwork just to demand money for it later
  56. Your 44-year-old uncle's dating advice, while shrewd, may be effective in some ways
  57. Trust can dissipate in mere seconds
  58. You can’t make space for everyone
  59. You can be an open book, but only for the people who earn it
  60. Punishing myself doesn’t serve me
  61. Having self esteem means being honest with yourself
  62. Life is so incredibly fragile
  63. In discomfort, there is growth
Despite the valiant efforts of media publications (see The Cut or the Atlantic's Instagram account), nothing truly prepares you for the politics of being a person. How do I navigate polarizing opinions with coworkers? What is the proper code of conduct for seeing an ex at a wedding? What kind of relationship should I have with my parents as an adult? How coy or forward must you be on Bumble? How much of myself do I give away in the name of earnestness? And at what point should I be worried that I've spent too much time alone — and often sought it out?

All of us, at some point, must deploy different aspects of ourselves to meet the circumstance. And this year, I've definitely had my work cut out for me. I'm grateful for all the moments of discomfort and hand-wringing  that I've had to deal with this year. New relationships and experiences have germinated the beginnings of, what I hope, will become a new evolution of myself — one where I have a deeper, if not clearer, understanding of how to navigate my world as it stands.

It's funny to see how these annual lists have evolved over the years. I've been making them since 2016. Seven years later, and the low self esteem, general anxiety and ennui of my early twenties has lessened greatly. Death feels imminent, now more than ever. I am equally and simultaneously self-assured but unmoored. I feel a bit stagnant but I've been physically itinerant. In the way that a fever is not an illness but a symptom, I'm sure a lot of these feelings are indicators that I'm developing a life that is whole. 

So, I bid adieu to 2023, not with resignation as I did the year prior, but with much gratitude in my heart that I have and will continue to stumble and get back up. 
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